Horrible Lovelife

Entry 6:

Ima say this now I’m writing this not to sound delusional but to let it go so if my homeboy see this he knows whats up. Back to this dude I liked and we were talking for a while but stopped made an entry about him before . Shouldn’t even still on him but he literally lives down the street fighting the urge to fight him. Anyways since the last possible interaction when he spotted me at his workplace possibly I blocked him on EVERYTHING his number doesn’t even exist in my phone anymore. But of course I’m over here trying to find reason to unblock him since the first time he just followed back but I think it’s too late for that . Anyways I was stalking anonymously and I saw he over here asking people who they ship with and bitches over here saying me like between him and this desperate hoes both need to find a life like . But my think is why tf you doing that secret message thing like we’re in middle school like bae you needa stop I know where you live , your possible workplace , and bus stop I will embarrass u . I’m still tryna find your mom Facebook but I can just get it from someone . On sum real shit is me seeing him everywhere a sign or what .

Hey guys

Hey guys, I’m currently like voice writing this because I do not feel good if y’all even care I think I have I got something got me sick at school or over the weekend because I did go shopping then I go shopping. No I didn’t yet I don’t want to, but I did go somewhere yesterday I went to my Granny my grandmother and well my great crawfish boy her birthday the day before that I think I did something. I can’t remember what I did But somewhere somehow I got sick is not that hard first of those allergies so then you took a Benadryl and I could not recover so of course here we are. I saw old boy in this dude name Kaidyn I used to talk to you. My mom thinks she spotted him at the Chick-fil-A to our house. If you see it in my bed you’re never gonna see me ever again because I feel like he just with waste of my time and like I don’t even think you wanna be for anyways that’s all we get updates bye.

Crashout

  I'm so over this generation. I'm so over dating in general and I'm only fucking 16. I tried talking to this boy and brought things we like and hate with which mines was not being up front i literally told him " if you (generally) don't wanna talk to me say that instead of ghosting me or being mean that'll hurt worst". Tell why I got ghosted . And three hours before I went through his reposts like a detective and he was reposting a whole different situation I was distraught. Mind y'all pain meds dull your emotions too and it hurt but I wasn't crying. THE NEXT DAY I balled my eyes out the whole day I  thought I was  going to throw up. I still like him but it don't matter if the feeling is not the same. The whole point is I'm not boy-crazy or craving validation from dudes but after a while and seeing everyone else happy you start to wonder why me? I always get left in the dust meanwhile him and other people have caused me pain, trauma, and betrayal can sleep at night. I'm not happy to be honest I forgot the last time I was. I feel empty like there is a piece missing . I'm still learning to enjoy my own presence which is hard , I hate being alone but I have always been alone.Don't talking to people if you don't know what you want. By the first interaction or personal knowledge you should know . God brought me into this earth alone and I will die alone (in a grave by myself) even IF I get a husband I'll still be alone. It is what it is.🤷

I lost so much aura

Entry 3:

 Why this boy in my class said do we present today mind you everytime he says this we simultaneously present so I said stfu as a joke we joke like that and he told me to stfu he wasn't talking to my ass. I had no comeback, my feelings are hurt. I know I should shut the hell up but damn. And everyone was like damn, literally trying not to cry since as I'm writing this I'm currently in the class. I almost forgot nobody likes me here. I'm so embarrassed but hey half yall don't even  read these which hurts but hey I can't tell you what to do. I wanna feel heard. But anyways I literally wanna cry tears are forming. I don't even know what to do with my life I only go to home/school and people in those places barely talk to me. I'm just a background character in everyone's lives.

Scratch That: 14 facts about me(or current status)

Entry 1( maybe 2?) 

April 24, 2025

1.  I have one dog named Macei
2. My favorite color is purple
3. My favorite artists are PARTYNEXTDOOR, cade clair, nobu woods
4. I'm unfortuntaly single and ( next blog entry I'm going to get into that)
5. I used to play volleyball, i stopped because I sucked ass
6. My gulity pleasure is currently sewing (someone buy me fabric🥲) and playing on my ipad
7. Some thing that upset me are getting my hopes up(rls) , wasting time, ghosting, and a  being weird/fake person🎯
8. My favorite snack is mini cheetos in the can
9.  I can't handle scary movies at all
10. I blog to express my feelings in a way that i can share wise words with others while also letting go of the damage caused by those topics
11. My favorite food is chicken parm
12. Despite a smile on my face all the times i still am struggling
13. Some bad habits i have are talking over people/ cutting them off and being a mess 
14. I fear, failure, disappointment, rejection, and "Depart from me, I never knew you"

30 days of blogging!!

 Okay yall I found this  30 days of blogging thing on Pinterest and that's what my future entries are going to be about . I'm literally starting day 1 right after this.

About me

 Hey y'all even though I'm talking to myself but basically I made this to vent on the weird shit I have heard/experience and other stuff I do through .👅